But You Do Exist
by twilightfanficreader
Summary: He told me it would be as if he never existed. I made it my world to make sure he did. - Entry for Bella's Lullaby Contest. BxE


**Bella's Lullaby of Broadway One-Shot Contest**

**Title: But You Do Exist**

**Pen Name: TwilightFanFicReader**

**Song and Show Title for Inspiration Song: On My Own from Les Miserables**

**Summary: He told me it would be as if he never existed. I made it my world to make sure he did.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people or places, give thanks to all knowing Stephenie Meyer.. and the song is not mine either.**

**Word Count: 7,019**

**Contest rules and entry information can be found at: **http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2110026/

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A/N: A quick thank you to my beta, Southern Amateur. I put this story together in like a day, and despite our work deadlines, and a bit of an extension, I managed to make it.

Please review when you are done just so I know you read it fully. Anonymous reviews are enabled.

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**On My Own by Lea Salonga from Les Miserables**

**http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=cuS1cCnG8xc**

And now I'm all alone again  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.  
Without a home, without a friend  
without a face to say hello to  
But now the night is near  
And I can make-believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
With the company I'm keeping  
The city goes to bed  
And I can live inside my head

On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him 'til morning  
Without him, I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain  
The pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say there's a way for us

I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him, the world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him  
But every day I'm lonely  
All my life I've only been pretending  
Without me, his world will go on turning  
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him  
I love him  
I love him...  
But only on my own...

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_Screaming Again? _Why must my only time with Edward be painful when I wake? I lay in bed watching the trees sway in the wind and rain. It has been three weeks and two days since Edward left, Alice left, my whole life... left.

I went back to school a few days after they moved. Arriving to class without him proved to be difficult, and as the day passed it only got worse. Walking into the cafeteria, not knowing where I belonged, was difficult at best. They won't be at their table. I could sit with my friends from before the Cullens', but I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to feel, I didn't want this to be real. When he left he told me he would make it as if he never existed. So my life is a shadow of what was.

During the day, back at Forks High, I am just there. I no longer talked; I no longer participated in discussions. It's not like I really did before, but when Edward was there I actually did have something to say.

My day really begins when I go to the Cullens' house after school. I spend my time in places where Edward and I have been, and the Cullens' house, quiet as it may be, is where we spent most of our time. Today at the Cullens' I am dusting. I feel something in my pocket vibrating and stop to pull my phone out. The screen says DAD so I flip it open.

"Hey, Dad."

"Bella, I am going go be home late again tonight... Seems like another bear attack or something in the woods." I shudder.

"Alright."

"What are you doing?" I looked around the house and took a seat on the white leather couch.

"Oh, nothing much, just hanging with Angela again, Dad." I just like to give an excuse to why I am not home if he were to pass by or something, I don't want him to have a heart attack.

"Alright, Bells, I will see you later." I exhaled and just flipped the phone shut. Looking around, I knew I needed to get more work done before the Cullens' came home. I got up and headed to the kitchen to dust some more.

After about two hours, the first level of the house was done. I just had my ipod on repeat with "Mad World" by _Gary Jules_ playing while I dusted and cleaned. I put my duster away and headed for the door.

Driving home I felt a little pang in my stomach; I reached over and grabbed my iPod and hit play. My favorite song began to play and I sighed in relief.

The next day, as my truck roared into the Cullens' drive, my heart exploded. I parked the car, jumped out and ran into the house.

"EDWARD?!" I called into the empty foyer. Before I could grab another breath, to call out some more, I felt hands wrap around my waist. I turned around instantly, looked into Edward's eyes and kissed him. This kiss was not like any other we had before. I felt the need as he gripped my body to drag it closer to his. I felt his tongue in my mouth playing for domination against mine. I broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes. I brought my hands to his face, with one on each side.

"I saw your cars in the driveway. When... why are you back?!" A single tear escaped my eye.

"Bella, this has been the worse time of my life. I can never apologize enough for leaving you." He leaned forward to kiss away my tears, and dragged me to the living room to sit on the couch.

"Edward, as long as you never leave me again like that, I will be fine. Just don't leave me." I pleaded to him as we sat there, staring at and caressing each other. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening gazing at each other, him telling me how painful it's been, and how he regrets listening to Carlisle. As the time approached for me to leave, Edward followed me to the truck.

"Bella, I love you." Those three words sent my heart into an inflated hot air balloon; I was soaring above this earth on a high of happiness.

"The house looks impeccable, were you here caring for it?" I blushed a little. I knew they were going to be back some day, and I wanted the house to be perfect for them. I nodded my head and he leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"You are simply amazing. I will never leave you again, I promise."

I threw everything out the window, my arms left my steering wheel, flew around his neck and squeezed him tightly. _I love this man! _

With a chuckle, Edward removed my hands from around him. "Alright, Bella, you have to get home before Charlie gives you a call and doesn't let you come here anymore."

I stuck my lip out a bit, sighed, and placed my hands on the steering wheel again. "I love you!" I called out as I began to reverse, and head home.

The following weeks maintained the same routine. To Charlie, I was one active girl. Spending my time with Angela, going to the library, shopping or school itself. The truth however, was that I was was hanging out at the Cullens' house and the surrounding woods.

For example, today I am taking a walk in the forest. I am following a small path that Edward and I took many times during our relationship. Right now I have Edward walking with me, hand in hand and I am telling him about school today.

"Yeah, Ben and Mike both got detention for it." I giggled and pulled some stray hairs behind my ear so I can get a better look at my love next to me. I snuck a glance at Edward walking next to me. He was wearing a baby blue button up shirt with pearl buttons. His pants were dark wash jeans, kind of tight on him. He looked sexy, and I blushed. I am truly happy right now, but I know as soon as I go back home to Charlie's I won't be.

Edward walked me to my truck and squeezed my hand before I hopped in. We said our goodbyes and I headed home. I haven't told Charlie that the Cullens' are back yet. I want to keep Edward to myself, and also because I know Charlie would be very angry if he knew he was back. I liked my life the way it was. Living my life one way, but to the rest of the world another. I am happy with the way things are.

I was home before I knew it. Charlie's cruiser was sitting in the driveway, and as I exited my truck, I could still hear the hissing of his car. Before entering the house, I heard more than just Charlie's voice booming from the living room.

"No, I think the Mariners will make it to the World Series this year." Charlie looked around after his statement and saw me.

"Oh hey, Bella. Billy and Jacob here will be eating over I think. Do we have enough chicken for them?"

I smiled over at them while I opened the fridge to investigate. "Yeah, Dad, I have plenty of cutlets in here. I'll get started cooking right now." I pulled the ingredients for quesadillas out and set them on the counter. Jacob got up and sauntered into the kitchen with a shy smile on his face.

"Um, hey, Bella. I haven't seen you on the Rez in a long time. How you been?" He took a seat at the table and just watched me while I turned the stove on.

"I'm busy, that's all, Jake. You know, with school and friends."

"And I'm not a friend?" I could here the dejection in his voice and turned around to face him for the first time tonight.

"Well, I, um, I didn't mean it like that. You know my truck, I am lucky it gets me to school anymore. I'm sorry... Maybe some time I can come down there."

Jacob has a huge smile on his face as he gets up and walks towards me. "That's awesome, Bella. How about this weekend, we'll be going to the beach?"

I really don't know. I don't want to do this at all. I look away from him to flip the quesadilla. "Uh, I'm sorry I'm busy this weekend, I guess maybe next time?"

"Yeah sure, Bella, no problem, I know you're a busy girl." The hurt on his voice is kind of sad.

"Can I help you with anything?"

I pointed to the vegetables on the counter, "You can chop those up to put in your guys' 'dillas if you want. Mine is plain."

He nodded, and the rest of the night we were silent. Jacob sat through dinner chatting with Dad and Billy while I just sat there nodding and looking anywhere but their eyes. After dinner Jake helped me with dishes and I excused myself to my room to do homework. As soon as I hit the bed, I looked out my window. I silently began to have a conversation with myself.

"Edward, can you hear me love?"

Silence.

"I miss you right now. I really liked walking today."

Silence.

I rolled on my back and glanced over at the chair he used to sit in. I am picturing him there right now, wearing the same clothes from earlier just with an added black blazer. I smile and close my eyes. He is always here when I am sleeping. It's consolation to myself.

I tossed and turned all night again, woke up screaming... Yadda yadda. Charlie doesn't come running anymore. I understand, I am the girl who cried wolf. I get up to use the bathroom, and head back to bed.

"Everything is going to be okay." I instantly snap my head to my desk chair to find Edward sitting there, in person now instead of my illusion from earlier.

"I know. I just had a bad dream is all." I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over me. I lay on my side to watch him. Edward got off the chair, climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around me. I felt the coldness of his hands stroll onto me and pull the covers up some.

"Sleep tight, Bella," escaped his lips, and that was the last thing I heard before I nodded off.

After school the next day I found myself watching a movie on the couch with Emmett and Alice. The rest of the gang was off hunting. I told Edward that I would be fine. I wanted him to be at my house again tonight, and that meant that he needed to hunt. I loved being in his arms, and couldn't wait for the darkness to take over to see him in my room again.

After the movie I hit eject and put the movie in it's case. Emmett asked, "Bella, you can pick some good movies. What's next?" He was looking through the Blockbuster pile trying to decide.

"Zombieland!" Alice squeaked. We both looked at her like she was mad. "What? I saw you pick it already..." she said after the weird looks Em and I were giving her. We began watching the movie, and I dug into my popcorn. Before long, my phone started vibrating and I looked down to see an unfamiliar number.

"Hey! Pause the movie for me!" I called as I jumped up and went into the kitchen to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella!" Jacob basically screamed in my ear. I actually had to do the whole 'hold the phone away from your head' thing.

"Oh hey..."

" We changed the beach thing for after school tomorrow, can you make it?" I looked down at the counter and started to play with a fake apple. _Thursdays I usually told Charlie I was at book club._

"Sorry, Jacob, I go to book club on Thursdays. Maybe another time?"

"Sure, sure. Well, I will give you a call sometime. But hey, now you have my number, so you can call me if you need anything."

" Thanks, Jacob. Well we were watching a movie. I'll call you later." _Crap, he'll tell Charie. Why did I say that?_

"Okay, Bells, bye!"

I hung up the phone and walked back to the living room.

"Okay, unpause it." When I looked at the tv, it was still playing as if it was never paused.

"How rude you guys are, not pausing it when I walk out of the room?" I scolded them, and huffed while I sat down. They were silent, so I snatched the remote from the coffee table and hit the rewind button to where I last remembered.

Alice and Emmett were unusually quiet. I looked over to them, and they were talking in hushed tones. I glared at them, and pressed the play button to finish the movie. Before I knew it, Emmett and I were laughing again and Alice was beaming at the movie. _This is it. Were family again. _I smiled at my thought and continued with my movie.

Once the movie was done, I knew it was time to go home. I said my goodbyes and headed out the door. I stood on the porch to take in a large, deep breath. I turned to look at the house, once emptied, but now full of life again. _I am happy once again._

I realized once I pulled into my driveway that Charlie wasn't home yet, so I went straight upstairs to do some homework. _Too bad the Cullens' didn't go to high school with me anymore, or we could do it together like old times. I will have to ask Alice when she sees them going back. _After about twenty minutes Edward came through my open window.

"Good hunting?" I asked while closing out of my web browser and turning to put my arms around him.

"Oh yes." His lups were on mine before I could take another step. My arms instantly went around his neck, and my fingers started to play with his hair. His arms embraced my back to pull me closer. He kissed with passion I didn't know he had, or I had for that matter. I found myself wanting more as I clung to his granite skin. His lips departed from mine, and started to kiss my cheek and found their way to my ear. _He is being very risky! I mustn't do anything for him to stop. I like this... I really like this!_

Edward's breath was cool on my neck, "Bella," he moaned in my ear. That was it for me. I unwrapped my fingers from his hair and begin rubbing my hands up his chest. I know the vampire in him made him hard, but I still loved it, it was still sexy to me. I heard a moan slip through my lips as he let his hands roam my lower back and up my shirt. I turned my head to find his lips again. I needed to feel them on me; I needed him closer to me. Edwards speed brought us to my bed in no time.

He was above me, leaning on his elbow, looking into my eyes.

"I love you." That is all I could say before I grabbed his neck and forced his lips on mine again.

"Bella, I'm Home!" With Charlie's yell, Edward threw himself off of me and went to sit on his chair. I was panting a little; I pulled my shirt down and patted it flat. Edward was smirking at me, and he winked.

There were a few knocks on the door, so I got off of the bed and opened the door, "Hey, Dad!" But the person there was none other than Jacob Black.

I immediately blushed and stepped out in the hallway, closing the door behind me as Jacob began to speak.

Jacob wrinkled his nose as it he smelled something bad, but he recomposed himself. "Hey Bella, I just thought since you can't come to La Push, I would come visit you!" He smiled so large that I couldn't help but smile sincerely back at him.

"You hungry? I can reheat some dinner." We started down the stairs and I smiled when I saw Billy and Charlie in the living room watching yet another game.

"Always, Bells, I'm a guy." He took a seat at the table while I pulled out some lemon chicken dish I made a couple nights before. I took off the covering plate, and placed the food dish in the microwave to heat. Taking a seat next to Jacob, I began to impatiently twirl a stray string on my jacket.

"What do you do in Book Club exactly?" That question took me by surprise, and I glanced up to his eyes. _Wrong idea, people can tell when you lie. _So instead of answering while looking at him I chose to stand up to check on the food.

"Oh you know, we girls read a book and talk about it... nothing too fun.." I took the plate out of the microwave, got him utensils and sat it in front of him.

"Thanks, Ma'am. That doesn't sound so bad, you like to read right?" I sat across form him and nodded. Playing with my string again, I watched him eat.

"Does Billy feed you?" I asked rather quietly.

Between bites he said, "Yes."

My heart was yearning for my Edward again. Looking at the clock, we were only down here for a few minutes. It would be rude to go back upstairs so soon, so I had to endure this time with Jacob while Edward was hopefully still waiting for me upstairs.

After an hour or so, I did a few fake yawns. _Hopefully some one will excuse me. Don't they know I have a hot vampire upstairs waiting for me?!_

Almost as if Billy could read my mind, he turned his head to look at me. "You tired, Bells?" I did a little stretch of my arms, and nodded my head. "Well, we won't be here much longer. The game should be over in a few, why don't you hit the hay. Us guys won't keep you up with our hollering."

I smiled, got up and thanked them. As I walked up the stairs I hollered good night down to them and closed my door behind me. My eyes were instantly searching my room, and my heart sank when I didn't see him waiting for me. _Where did he go? _I got out of my clothes and was standing there in my grey cotton bra and black boy short panties searching for my yoga pants and tank to sleep in. I saw my yoga pants under my fallen covers on the floor and reached down to pick it up when I felt cool fingers caressing my spine.

I instantly shot up and turned around, crashing into Edward. A mischievous smile played across his lips as I blushed realizing what I was wearing. "About time you _came_ up here," seductively rolled off of his lips. I honestly think I felt myself get wet right there. _Where is this coming from? What happened to the old careful Edward?_

I took in a big rush of breath and I felt my heart rate increase. "Well, I, uh, didn't want to be rude to my guests." Some how I was able to complete that sentence while Edward was slowly rubbing his fingers up and down my back, never taking his eyes off of mine.

This is the first night I saw pure lust in his eyes. He directed me to my bed, and I obeyed. I laid there on my back, Edward above me, rubbing my hips and waist making me tremble with need. I needed him to touch every part of me. I needed him to explore my uncharted body with his perfect hands, his perfect lips. I also needed him to tell me how much he loved me and needed me too.

After school the following day, I decided "Book Club" was canceled and brought Edward over to my house. I was still on a high from what transpired last night. Being able to be intimate with Edward like that was more than incredible. I know we only made out. But for us, that is a huge milestone.

Our bodies were entwined together. His legs wrapped around mine. Our arms discovering each other through touch. His lips, _oh his lips! _They found my jaw line, my neck, and my arms. The way they would depart from each spot, made my body ache to be touched again.

I am in such a good mood that today I am going to tell Charlie Edward and I are together again when he gets home. Edward and I were curled into each other on the couch in the living room watching who knows what. I was just staring into his eyes, playing with his hair with my fingers.

"My control is getting much, much better Bella."

Blushing, I looked away and felt a little tingle inside of me. "I noticed," was all I could muster. I needed to change the subject before I put us in another make out session. I didn't want to push that part of our new relationship just yet. I wanted it to be on his terms, so I began talking about the winter break coming up.

Edward and I spent, what felt like hours, talking about school, Christmas and college.

" Who are you talking to Bella?" I suddenly turned around to find Charlie standing in the door way with… was that _hurt_ on his face? _OH NO! He is mad Edward is here, and we were home alone!_

I quickly scrambled away from Edward, and looked up at Charlie.

"Sorry, Dad, Edward and I were just on the couch. I know, I know, I should have asked if he could come over…"

Charlie put his things down and came towards me in a hug. "Bella, where is Edward?"

I looked at him like he was crazy, he must be, I mean Edward was sitting right there next to me.

"Dad, he is right here…" I trailed off. Edward was not here next to me when I looked in the direction he once was. I looked back into my fathers pleading eyes.

"Bella, we are the only ones in this room."

I stifled a small giggle, _he must have heard Charlie coming and left to save me, and here I am getting us in trouble._

"He must have left through the window or something." I got up off the couch and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I really just needed to get out of the proximity of Charlie.

" Well Bells, if Edward is back there are going to be some ground rules…" I kind of tuned him out after that. They are the same rules from before. All I could think about is why Edward abandoned me. _I thought we were in agreement that my Dad could know were a couple again?_

After Charlie was done rambling, I kindly made him supper and went up stairs to work on my Shakespeare paper. _Ugh!_ I walked into my room and other thoughts entranced my mind.

There was the sexiest vampire lying casually in my bed, eyes closed and humming. My heart started sputtering and I ran and jumped on my bed.

"Hey, baby!" A mischievous smirk played across his lips. I settled in next to him with my head on his chest and his arms enclosing my body to his.

"Where did you go? I looked like a nut case down there."

" I'm sorry, Bella, I heard Charlie's thoughts, and let's just say he isn't prepared to see us together just yet." _Hmmm… that makes sense. Good thing my boyfriend can read minds. What if we were in a conspicuous position, clothes gone and everything?!_

"Want to go to the meadow with me tomorrow? We haven't been there in a long time and the weather is supposed to be nice."

"Yes, of course, I would love to!" A huge smile was now plastered on my face.

After awhile, Edward and I got up, and he helped me with my homework. The cold air rushed in through my open window causing me to shiver. Normally, Edward would be kind and grab me a sweater or something, but not tonight. He is preoccupied with my text books in front of him. Getting up to go get my black over sized sweater, I noticed he hasn't even changed the page of the book since I gave it to him.

"Why are you still on the first page of _Act_ I?"

"I already read through it and turned it to the first page again. Why are you questioning me so much lately?"

"Huh, I didn't know I was. Sorry." I reached into my closet, grabbed my sweater and headed back to the computer to finish up my homework.

We were silent for the remainder of the night. It wasn't one of those awkward silences, it was just _there. _Printing out my paper, I took out a page protector and left it on my desk to put away tomorrow morning. I climbed into my bed and asked Edward to turn off the lights as he got up.

Edward began to hum again for me, and before I knew it I was dreaming of him. It wasn't one of those bad dreams I had when he left me, no, it was a loving dream of us married and traveling the world as vampires.

The ringing of my alarm clock woke me from my slumber. The light was still on, but Edward, of course, had disappeared for the time being and so I was off to get ready for school. _He must think the light somehow helps with my nightmares. _I grabbed my homework and stuffed it in my bag.

Classes went by slowly but my school day did come to an end. I was half hoping Edward would be there to pick me up, but when I looked around I didn't find his Volvo. I drove home knowing the car would be waiting at my house, but again, no Volvo in sight. _I guess he wanted to meet at his house…_

I turned my truck around and drove to his house. No one answered the door when I knocked, but all the cars were there. I turned to go back to my truck when I heard the velvet voice whisper in my ear.

"Where do you think you're going, Ms. Swan?" _Oh, was that sexy._

"I was only looking for you, Mr. Cullen."

He led me to my truck. I started towards my passenger side door when I noticed he was headed in the same direction.

"Aren't you going to drive?"

"No, how about you do it for a change?"

I just nodded and went around to the driver's side and headed to our parking spot on the edge of the forest. As we got out, he was wrapping his arms around my waist, and in some sort of vampire fast movement I was on his back.

"And we're off!" He shouted back to me as he propelled his legs forward, bringing us through the forest. The rush of the wind around me excited me more than being on his back alone. In no time we were slowing down and in the middle of a slice of heaven. He let me slide down his back, and took my hands in his. We walked around the open space for a few minutes, saying sweet nothings to each other before we decided to lie down. It was so peaceful and perfect.

"I love you, Bella."

"As I love you, Edward. Tell me one thing you loved most about the eighties?"

Edward glanced my way with a smile on his face, "Well, your birth of course!" I playfully smacked his arm and turned on my side.

"You know I meant _while _you were living through the times, right?"

"Oh, well then, the movies. Some of the best movies were made."

I honestly don't know how long we laid there, talking, kissing, and staring deep into each other's eyes. It seems that is all we did, but I was happy with him beside me.

When it began to get dark, we got up, and he took me to my truck. I just got my seat belt on before two tall, tanned men walked out of the tree line. The bigger one looked like the guy who found me when I was lost in the woods. I went to reach for Edward's hand, but it wasn't there and neither was he. I was scared. _Where is he? _The two men were almost to my car, and I didn't know what to do.

"Bella, what are you doing out her alone?" The taller one I knew to be Sam asked.

"I was just coming from a trail with Edward."

Sam's face turned into a frown, and the other guy's turned into a scowl.

"Sam! Why don't you tell her?" He asked.

"Shut it, Paul," Sam ordered.

"Wait, tell me what?" Looking between these two shirtless guys, I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something.

"Tell her the truth!" The one I knew to be Paul said.

"She knows the truth! Telling her won't help! Besides, I won't do this without Charlie." Sam was trying to lower his voice, but I was still able to make out what he was saying…_Without Charlie? What does this have to do with anything?_

"Guys, my Dad knows Edward and I are back together. Everything is okay."

"Fine, wait until it's too late!" Paul sneered.

"And hurt her more?" Sam shook his head and looked back toward me.

This conversation looked over. "Well, if you two are finished…"

"Sorry for keeping you Bella, tell Charlie I said hi." Sam finished.

" Sure, goodnight."_ Whatever that meant._

I pulled onto the highway and went home. Charlie was waiting in the kitchen for me, so I began cooking. "I ran into Sam Uley today, he told me to say hello."

"Really? Where did you see him?" Charlie was interested for once.

"Edward and I were leaving a trail, and he and a friend stopped me at my truck. They were bickering over something, but I assured them that you knew about Edward and that we were back together."

Charlie only nodded and let out a sigh. The rest of the evening was pretty quiet, but that is normal for us. I was worried, though, about Edward. It seems he is upset or embarrassed about what happened on my birthday. _I need to talk to Carlisle about this._

The night was pretty normal after that. I did dishes and homework alone. Edward didn't called or come through my window. I went to bed alone, but I know he would be here some time, I just hoped I'd wake to say goodnight.

It is finally Saturday morning, and I slept in a little bit. I was unusually cold and I realized why and my eyes shot open. "Edward!" I turned my body around to kiss him. _Screw morning breath!_

His left hand found my shirt and started to pull it up so his hand could caress my bare skin. I let out a little moan and pulled him closer than I thought possible. Only one thing was a problem, I was freezing!

Edward, almost knowing what I was thinking, pulled me onto him, and picked me up out of bed. I paused from kissing him, "Where are we going?"

"Shower, to warm you up."

He put me down in the bathroom and began helping me strip out of my clothes. _I can't believe I am naked in front of Edward! He was a perfect statue in front of me, and he hasn't even taken his clothes off!_

He leaned into the shower and put the water on. I pulled on his jeans to bring him closer to me, as his teeth found my ear lobe and began to nibble on it. I unzipped his jeans and yanked them off of him. His shirt was on the floor before we knew it.

Edward was pulling me into the shower, but I noticed the door left open and kicked it shut. The second my body hit the water, I relaxed and decided to enjoy this sensuous shower, with the heat of the water, and the coolness of his skin. The mixture was breathtaking.

Edward smiled seductively while I was rubbing my hands over his body.

"Here, use this to help." He gave me the bar of soap to lather in my hands and once soaped up, I put it back on the shelf.

"Now rub my body…" He whispered in my ear. I knew what body part he wanted me to rub, and I simply obliged.

When I finished Edward off, he was satiated and I was more than aroused. Hearing my name escaping from his mouth shot fire throughout me and I needed an escape. Edward's hands started caressing my breasts and he trailed his fingers down my abdomen and landed where I needed them the most.

In no time I was unraveling, starting with short low moans and they soon began to escalate and become louder.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?! THERE BETTER NOT BE A BOY IN THERE ISABELLA!"

I winced in embarrassment. _Charlie knows what we're doing in here!_ _How long were we even in here? _I turned off the water and put my robe on. Edward followed behind me and gave me a sincere look, grabbed a towel and got dressed.

I opened the door and peaked my head out. I heard the TV on down stairs and tip toed across the hall.

"I hear you. Get dressed and get down here." I reluctantly got dressed, and Edward just sat on my bed.

"How about you just go out through the window, I will take full blame." He nodded, kissed my forehead and jumped out of my room.

"Love you." I whispered under my breath before I headed down stairs to face my father.

A wave of morbid embarrassment crashed into me when I saw not only Charlie down stairs, but Billy and Jacob as well.

"Bella, we need to talk, take a seat."

I complied, and sat by myself on the recliner, tears on the verge of escaping from my eyes. Billy and Jacob couldn't make eye contact with me and Charlie was pacing back and forth in the cramped living room.

"Bella, we think you're ill." A confused look spread across my face as I looked at the guests in the room.

"Ill?"

"Edward is not here, honey. The Cullens', they didn't come back." _What?! Is he crazy? They are back! I've been watching friggin movies with them! Not to mention what I've done with Edward. Oh no! Don't bring that up!_

"Dad, they are. I spend my time there every day. Alice, Emmett… Edward, they are all here. You heard us talking the other day."

Jacob took a chance to look at me. Pity and sadness was displayed across his face, and he looked over to Billy before his eyes landed on the floor again.

"Bella, they _aren't _here." I was angry now. I stood up and went to grab my keys.

"Follow me if you don't believe me! We'll go to the Cullens' to prove this."

Jacob stood up and went to where Billy and Charlie were. They did a little football huddle and were talking in whispers that I couldn't decode. I began tapping my feet. _I can't wait to see their faces when they see that the Cullens' are back. They have just been lying low trying to acclimate themselves again, that's all._

"Alright, let's go." Charlie announced his readiness.

Charlie walked us all out to his cruiser. He helped Billy into the passenger seat while Jacob and I got locked into the back. _No way to escape his questions now!_

When we arrived at the Cullens' house, the garage door was closed with no cars in the driveway. _That's okay, they sometimes leave the door shut._

We got out of the truck and headed for the front door. I knocked and waited for one of my alternate family members answer the door… but no one came. I knocked again. No answer.

"Well, they must have gone camping. When they get back, I will get Carlisle on the phone for you, Dad." I beamed confidently at a sullen looking Charlie.

"Bells, can you wait in the car for a minute?"

I nodded and did as I was told. Jacob walked around the house and then he and Billy were talking while Charlie was looking through windows. They were close enough for me to hear their low whispers.

"Dad, I smell them, but they haven't been here in a very long time." Billy all but nodded toward the car. Once Jake helped Billy into the passenger seat and climbed into the back with me, I really began to panick.

"Dad, you looked inside. It is full of life, it is clean. They are here!" I pleaded while Charlie backed out of the driveway.

Billy just stared out the window, Charlie was contemplative and just pondered his thoughts. He began to speak them out loud. "Hun, they aren't here. Monday we will get you some help. This has gone on long enough…"

I tuned him out. _He is the crazy one. He chooses not to see Edward. I see him. I feel him. I hear him. They are just upset with Edward, that's all. And Jake… well, he is just jealous. He is obviously playing this in his favor. Edward is here. We all know he is._

Charlie drove us home in silence. As soon as the cruiser came to its screeching stop, I jumped out and ran into the house to my bedroom. I looked out the window to see the three of them talking in hushed tones by my truck cab. I had tears running down my face. _What is wrong with them? _I started pacing back and forth and was replaying this past month in my head.

They were gone, and I was alone. No where to go, and no one to turn too. They abandoned me. When I thought of him, I was happy. I could feel his coolness against my skin when he put his arms around me_. I can't make that up._ I love him, but could I have been pretending? Pretending he was here? The only time I saw him was when I was on my own. When Charlie was here or Sam stopped to see me... he was gone. Was I talking to myself? _NO! _Was I touching myself? Was it possible?

Thinking about all of this was turning my stomach and I was feeling really light headed. I started walking towards the bathroom door when all I could see was black.

_Edward was standing in my room. I was laying in my bed looking up at him._

_"Edward please tell me this is real, that I am not really crazy. I need you to do that for me."_

_Edward took one stride towards me, knelt down and began stroking my face with his index finger._

_"Love, I am what you want me to be. Of course I am real. I am with you always. You know in your heart I am here."_

_Looking around, the room started to change and I was in the meadow. Laying before me was myself from when Edward and I were there. My eyes were closed but I heard myself talking, so I approached silently._

"As I love you, Edward. Tell me one thing you loved most about the eighties?"

"You know I meant _while _you were living through the times, right?" _My face had a smile on it and I let out a giggle._

_I then witnessed the unthinkable, I saw myself touching my body. My hand was trailing up and down my side, while the other one played in my hair._

_What is going on?! I walked away into the woods to get away from my deceiving dream. I made it to the tree's edge to be standing behind Sam and the guy he was with. They were staring at something, but I couldn't see what it was, so I peeked around Sam's huge body to see myself walking with my arm outstretched as if I was holding an imaginary hand. I saw myself peck the air and hop in the truck._

Voices were around me, I wasn't ready to open my eyes just yet, so listened to them. It sounded like Charlie was talking to someone and I felt very warm hands wrap around my body and pick me up. I was put down on what felt like my bed.

"Charlie, she will be okay. I will be here for her."

"Thanks, Jacob. I am going down stairs to talk with Sam and Billy." The hurt in his voice was enough for me to wake up.

"Dad?" I croaked out. I was laying in my bed with my feet in Jacob's lap.

Charlie turned around and brought me into a half hug. Once he left, I closed my eyes.

_"Do you really think this is all an illusion, Bella?"_ Edward wanted to know.

"Of course not, Edward, but what is it?"

"I don't know, my love." The fear in his features made me shiver.

"Then help me," I implored.

* * *

a/n: Thank you for taking the time to read my one-shot. It was my first onsie and I plan on undoing the oneshotness and making it into a story if I get a response to do so.

I will appreciate any input, or ideas you have. Can you please let me know if I surprised you.

Thanks :) -


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